3 months old tomorrow...

Well, I had to go back to work last Friday night, and worked Saturday and Sunday night as well. I leave the house around 5:45pm and don't get back until about 8am. It was tough on me, but from what I've heard, I think it may have been harder on Alex. James said he threw tantrums and refused to eat the first night. James finally got him to eat 8oz on Sunday night, but this kid really missed his mama! I took Alex in for a weight check today and he gained 11oz in 14 days. I'm still really pleased with his gain even though he had a 3 night hunger strike!

It's hard to believe Alex will be 3 months old tomorrow! He is such a funny little guy. I feel really blessed to have this special little person in my life. So much so that I honestly can't wait to have another one...wait, what am I saying?! Maybe it's the sleep deprivation. Enjoy some pictures from this week!

 Wheels on the Bus?

 I'm really loving the fingers in my mouth!

Getting ready for bed.

Rolling into 12 weeks

I officially have a rolling baby. Alex rolled onto his belly at 9 1/2 weeks but didn't quite get his other arm underneath. Yesterday Alex rolled completely over while I was making myself a sandwich. I swear I glanced away for 5 seconds and this is how I found him.

Adorable, right? He has also taken to rolling from his belly to his back. I credit his strong neck muscles to all the tummy time he gets from crying until he gets to sleep on top of mom or dad. Who knew rolling would be so exciting?!

I also felt my first pang of sadness today about Alex no longer being a newborn. At the time he was born, I felt ill-prepared, scared, worried, and overwhelmed. Granted, I have had some complicated family circumstances which I'm sure compounded what would be normal postpartum feelings. Fortunately, I did not suffer postpartum depression, but also felt so exhausted that I really wanted the newborn stage to end. Now that Alex is doing so much more, I realize that he won't be a baby for long (which really makes me want to cry). And don't even get me started on the book "Love You Forever".

Anyway, enjoy these fun pics from my "rolly poly" baby.

Mr. Mills

Ok, I get it. There are people out there that may not understand how adorably awesome my kid is. And for the rest of you (family and friends that keep telling me to post more pictures but I'm starting to feel like I'm posting a little too much if you know what I mean...) this blog is for you!

              

Alex loves smiling. Smiling's his favorite.

He also happens to be our little "turtle".

He's wearing 3 month clothes now.

And saw the crappiest Easter Bunny ever on Sunday.

Sophie is not yet his favorite toy...but he likes her ok.

But this play mat is seriously am-aze.

But for now, let's make a cranky face while we sleep because being a baby is hard work!

Alex, don't you like to sleep?

I'm pretty sure "sleeping like a baby" only applies to newborns who are a few days old. My kid does not want to sleep unless he's feeding or cuddling with me at 4am. It's about 11:30pm and I am sitting in Alex's room trying to lull him with the sweet sounds of baroque while he sways in his glider. I know he's tired--he just really tries to fight this sleep thing. I've heard this too will pass (hopefully sooner than later).

So about this new mom thing. It definitely helps to know that I am not the only crazy one that thinks it is really hard. It's worth it. But it's hard. It's hard in the way that I miss being able to go out for a beer or leave the house to run a quick errand or go out to dinner James. It's hard worrying about someone so much because you love them so insanely that the very thought of them hurting is painful. And the lack of sleep...
That said, it's also crazy how much I have fallen in love with my kid. He's such a beautiful, smiley baby. When I feed him in the morning he looks up at me with his big, round, blue eyes and smiles. If I even mention that he is in fact a "happy baby" he will start to grin like crazy. I adore him with every ounce of my being. I mean, I've loved him since I found out I was having him, but the love I feel for him now is different even from his first few days of life. I feel this very strong bond with him that comes from spending time with someone. He felt a bit like a stranger to me in his first few days. Now it's almost as if he's an extension of me, but still his own person somehow.

When it comes to how hard it is, I'm managing much better now. I take Alex out in his carrier to walk the dog. I don't feel quite so intimidated about taking him anywhere, really. James will watch him a few times a week so that I can go running. I can actually make dinner and shower and it's all ok. I go back to work in a few weeks, which will be an adjustment for all of us. But until then, I'm just gonna work on sleeping.